being the best me possible

I recently read the first part of a book about raising your child to be a 'whole brain child.'  Now, I don't have a child, but I do babysit and I am incredibly interested in child development, etc.  Anyway, the first part of the book basically says that you yourself should mentally healthy first.  They say that mental health isn't defined clearly, but they say that it is basically a middle ground between chaos and being super rigid. I think typically I achieve this middle ground-  I don't like being late, but I don't write everything activity in a planner, and I do things when I want to do them, but my life is definitely not crazy chaotic.

The past few weeks though, have been insane.  I experimented with going out a couple of times in a week.  After 2 weeks, I realized that lifestyle is totally not for me.  I don't really enjoy drinking (or spending money on drinks) and I'm shy when I'm sober-- standing around at a bar awkwardly with friends just isn't really my think I guess.  I never see these nights as overly productive and lately I've been trying to evaluate what purpose things have.  Don't get me wrong, I like purposeless things too, they have a place, and I do like to go out from time to time, but it definitely isn't for me on a regular basis.

All of this leads to my point of this post-  I'm going to try to become the best 'me' there is.  I have a few goals I plan on working on in that respect:

• Getting the appropriate amount of sleep: The thing about going to bars is, I work in the morning.  Which means I'm getting minimal sleep and I don't function well on that.  It makes me grumpy and less efficient overall, and I just feel like it gives me a different outlook on life. I REALLY don't like that feeling.
• Being organized:  This is as close to 'chaotic' as I feel like my life typically gets.  I am so messy.  My car right now is an embarrassment.  Part of this is definitely laziness, because it disgusts me.  I'm going to work to straighten out my room and my car, and try to keep them that way.  I feel like that would make my life a little bit smoother.
• Focusing on what I need to do for grad school:  This is 4 months away, but in the near future I will be making a decision on where to go to school (if I have choices) and where I will live, etc.  This is a big life change and I definitely should start planning it out.
• Taking time for myself:  I took a 20 minute walk at a nearby nature park and I swear it was so great for my mind.  Things like this are often neglected by me, as I am constantly busy busy busy.
• Being healthy:  Today I had a total binge day on junk food and I feel terrible.  I'm going to try my best to eat healthy food, not only for my weight, but for my overall feeling of wellbeing.  This includes also going to the gym, as I know that makes me feel better.  I just haven't hit that point where I really WANT to go.   
• Gaining patience:  I used to be a super patient person.  While I still have a good amount of patience, I feel like it is not what it used to be.  I'd like to somehow learn/retrain myself so that I can get that back.  Sometimes it made me a pushover, but I like to be calm.

These are only some of the ways that I plan on executing the best me.  I know that sounds so nerdy but I think it is really what I need right now-- to focus on me. Hopefully throughout the next few weeks I can kind of explore some other ways to improve myself.

Speaking of the next few weeks, here are a few things I have to look forward to:

• Visiting my potential grad school with my mom.  DECISIONS, DECISIONS.
• Getting my last 2 acceptances/rejections from my remaining grad schools.
• Deciding which grad school I want to attend, given I have options.
• Going to Europe with my best friend.  This is more like 6 weeks, but still.
• Finishing my classes!  First pre-reqs done for my grad program!  woot woot!

I feel like all these thoughts are so jumbled, but blogging seemed like the appropriate way to deal with them at this moment.  :)